Is Pain and Suffering “Just a Part of Life”?

Ok…the first question that is really going tickle the deepest neurons we possess. This one, really doesn’t have just one answer, let alone a “right” answer. I will admit this is truly all about how one perceives the concepts within the question, as well as the point of such a question.

It would be so easy to just say the following, and then peace out:

“Of course! We have all lived, thus all experienced suffering and pain; ergo, it must be a part of life!”

Shout out to my boy Descartes for the inspiration and logical fallacy! RIP, Bro!

I digress…

This is the issue with philosophical questions. They possess answers that are both right and wrong…it is all dependent upon the context in which you apply the question.

Ask this question to the guy who just won the lottery and is spending like crazy. At that particular point in time, in that particular context, the answer would be and emphatic “No!” Fast forward down the road when that guy maybe invests poorly and goes broke, loses everything, and is ostracized by those who warned him, then the answer quickly shifts to “Heck, yes!”

See what I mean? The context derives the right or wrongness of the answer.

If we were to examine Biblical perspective, the answer would also be Yes and No. Originally, pain and suffering, and all other negative emotions, were not supposed to be a part of life! However, without going into a Genesis history lesson, we humans kinda screwed the pooch on that one. Thus, enter sin, and accordingly, enter the negative emotional world.

But let’s look at the interesting flip-side of this question.

Newton’s third law of motion tells us that for every action, there is an equal and/or opposite reaction. While this applies to force, mass, and objects, we can philosophically apply it to life. In fact, we have been doing it for centuries. The idea that there is good to balance the evil. Christianity calls this God vs. Satan (Heaven vs. Hell), Hinduism says it’s Karma, and plenty of other terminologies exist. The bottom line is the same…for a negative, there is a positive.

Now, apply this thinking, and depth of understanding, to pain and suffering and all other emotions!

But, let’s add another thought to the mix…right out of good ol’ Psychology.

For years, Psychologists, Social Workers, Sociologists, and Doctors have been trying to understand the brain and mind and all they do. One of the biggest pickles, is the ideas of dreams and the imagination. What are they? What’s their purposes? Are they truly unique? Again, you can dig deeper into the research that leads to these conclusions, but here is the main idea:

Knowing how the neural links are designed in our brain, paired with how memory functions, learning is established, and the application of said things, we know that the mind and brain cannot create completely new and never known things.

Let me clarify. That does not mean imagination and creativity do not exist as we have seen them. What it means is that the brain and mind create things BASED upon already encoded information. Whether that information was encoded as a quick glance of someone’s face that we will never physically see again, or as a series of repetitions of chemical chains in a lecture for an exam and a future pharmaceutical career. Ideas are creative only in that they are an amalgamation of previously established information. It still is a brilliant and amazing process, but it also shows our dependence upon others and things outside of ourselves, for the advancement of our kind and civilizations.

NOW we apply it all.

To begin to answer this question, I posit other questions based upon what we know now, given the aforementioned “lessons”:

If we did not know the negative feelings, could we actually acknowledge the positive feelings as their own entities?

• That is, without pain, could we know healing? Could we know happiness without sorrow? What about peace without chaos?

Conversely, could we know these negative feelings exist without their positive counterparts?

Throwing back to the Biblical sense, I believe that we could acknowledge the positives without the negatives at one time, because at that time we had no sin and a being (God) existed outside of and greater than our comprehension, who gave us the perspective. But for those who don’t subscribe to the theological perspective, I leave us all with these thoughts….

I think we all can agree that at some point IN life, pain and suffering is inevitable. Anecdotal and circumstantial evidences show this to be true. But the bigger question within the question should be as such:

Should pain and suffering be a CONSTANT part of life?

Can we decide to LEARN where it comes from and its positive counterparts, and CHOOSE to be better, happier, joyous, and peaceful?

There is the answer.

Pain and suffering are only there if you choose to acknowledge them as part of your life.

So, will you succumb to their inevitability?

Or, will you rise above them and transcend the joys that come when you defeat them in the pits?

The choice is yours…it is all of ours….but a choice that you are not alone in.

Choose wisely.

As always, stay Blessed!

What’s Wrong with “Kids” These Days?

What is it like being in your mid-to-late 20s in 2015? Well, to say the least, it’s awkward…and sad..and sometimes painful. How so? Because those of us fitting that description are “stuck in the middle”. We are the weird-third-cousin-like section of the Millennials. Born at a time that caused us to develop our own modern worldview and understandings of shifting cultures and society, BUT still holding to the strength and wisdom of the traditions, values, and societies that existed before us. Why is it awkward? Simply put, because even we look at the rest of the age group (sub about 23 years of age) within this generation and consider them “kids”. And, there are a few reasons for this.

It starts with the piece of understanding the wisdom within what is now called the “good ol days” by some, and “the ignorant past” by others (mostly younger Millennials and the liberal/progressive movement). Being born in the late 80s allowed us older ones to understand the good that was values, family, financial wisdom, policies that were for the greater good. And you know what? It worked! This allowed us to GROW UP in the 90s, one of the best decades in the history of our nation and civilization. We saw the dollar being strong. People caring for one another and not caring about stupid personal issues and “rights”. Heck, in elementary school at that time, the weirder you looked, the cooler you were! One could wear an upside down, backwards visor, with a neon shirt and cut off jean shorts with sandals and they were “stylish” and “hip”. Why? Because they CLEARLY did not care what others thought of their looks! They didn’t have to be “put together” for status. Now, I am speaking in sweeping generalities here, but it is backed up with experiences from those like me…older Millennials.

I will now begin to differentiate the specifics of the paradigm shift within this generation, and thus, society. To start, us older Millennials will be referred to as “adults” and the rest as “kids”…because that is how it looks to us. But there is also factors deeper than that, that cause even a rift within us adults…especially some of the civil rights issues. However, there are explanations for that, and are highlighted here soon.

When us adults were kids, there were expectations placed on us from our elders and our society, most of these expectations were good for us in the long run, even if on the surface they were difficult, unfair, and not happy. As a kid, us adults knew that if we were not good test takers, we had to learn to get better, and after exhausting EVERY option, then and only then, would necessary changes be made and accommodations put in place to help. Now? Just have a potential learning disability (or just enough whining from parents to the schools) and children are given extra time, labeled special needs and having lower standards, etc. Pretty ridiculous. Or, how about behavior issues? If a we, as kids, were acting out in schools, our parents were brought in and a serious discussion about issues and behavior modification in the home were brought up, as a collaborative measure to help the child maintain behaviors conducive to success and the learning environment. Today? Bring up that context to parents and all of a sudden somebody is offended and feels it’s the “school’s fault” because their kid “never does XYZ at home”.

Now, I have used a couple of school examples, and I can go on with hundreds more from different arenas, but I have reached my first point. There is almost NO personal responsibility among the kids of today. When something they don’t like happens, somebody or something is to blame. In student debt up to their eyeballs? It’s the government’s fault for making education too expensive and not paying enough when they get jobs. Thug gets arrested for BREAKING THE LAW? Or worse killed? It’s the system and oppression from almost 200 years ago to blame.

Seriously, when are these kids going to get it…YOUR CHOICES HAVE CONSEQUENCES!

Which brings me to my next point: work ethic.

There is a serious issue of entitlement going on right now. Recently, Saturday Night Live did a skit highlighting this nearly perfectly, but still doesn’t bring the magnitude of the issue to the table. It definitely highlights the entitlement of getting something just because one wants it, but doesn’t want to work for it. As well as the entitlement to do what they want and then when hit with truth, fact, or consequence, considers it an “attack” on them thus becoming ignorant (more on that later). This is the precise attitude that is driving the movement of the $15 fast food kids. Just because other people are making decent livings and able to afford things in their jobs, the kids should be able to do the same, purely because they’re working. I mean, let’s completely forget that most people making a living have worked hard, gone to school, started a business, or some other means of WORKING HARD and applying their skills and passions on a higher level.

Entitlement in and of itself is being used in the wrong way even. For someone to be entitled, the whole premise of the word is that something was acknowledged, found to hold additional value beyond that of the assumed normal. So what kids today are saying is that because they exist, they deserve everything everyone else has because they are in only a similar position and purely exist. Because others have nice things and can be happy, they should too…but without the same journey it took to get there. I believe a better way of talking about this issue would be calling it “active envy”. And to be honest…if I remember…the Bible calls that….hmmmm…oh!…COVETING!

So where did these kids go wrong and why are us adults doing just fine? It starts in the realm of feelings and offense.

Everybody, it seems, is offended by everything nowadays. Seriously, seemingly nobody can express a thought (no matter how truthful it is) without somebody feeling bad, being offended, or thinking they’re oppressed. And Heaven forbid that we disagree on something, the person “doing the hurting” is now ignorant and/or a bigot. Kids these days are way too sensitive about their feelings and would rather be comfortable than challenged and rise to heights of new success. There’s your entitlement right there.

It takes hard work, dedication, and constantly being challenged if one wants success. And it seems that kids these days are not getting it. If they want to reach new heights, how are they going to get there if they expect handouts? Those only keep you stagnant, content. To go higher, one must push themselves. Do Olympic athletes break the national records and then just say “that’s good enough” and expect a gold medal in the world? I hope not…because they’d be in for a rude awakening. The point is that one must risk what they have (within reason) and step up and be challenged to achieve the next level of greatness! If they fail to do so, they will forever be condemned to a life of stagnation and annoying whining and complaining.

The issues, though, do not start in society…they start at birth and, inevitably, in the home. With ever-increasing divorce rates and fatherless homes, coupled by society refusing to acknowledge years of research, and centuries of human experience, that say the nuclear family is essential and the best, it is no wonder that we as a world and nation are in the mess that we’re in. Consistent research shows that these contributing factors show some of the highest correlations with mental health problems, behavioral issues, violence (shootings, fights, etc.), and crime among kids and families. But we ignore these things all because leaning towards “inclusion” and changing the definition of families, and building self-esteem take precedence over fact and logic.

We have taken major problems and approached them with nauseating complexity for the sake of an easy and comfortable existence, instead of seeing the simple answers, all because those answers take hard work and dedication, as well as conviction.

Kids these days have become wussified…they no longer know how to think for themselves. Why? Because if they did, then the answers they need to find and execute would take work, hard work…so they like the easy road which is significantly more complicated, but it feels good and no body will challenge them…hopefully.

Here is an interesting thought:

A lot of kids these days claim that the cultural movements are founded on science and fact. Even though the rational of us know quite the contrary. But for argument’s sake, let’s humor the children. If they believe in true science, then they have already violated the fundamentals of its method by acting and thinking the way they do. The scientific method demands that theories and ideas and concepts be tested and conclusions drawn from the data. If we go back to elementary (and now middle) school, we remember the idea of a hypothesis. Expand that into more adult thinking, we understand that when we have a hypothesis, we actually test what’s called the NULL hypothesis…this acts as the “experiment” group and the hypothesis (the idea or concept) as the “control” group. And we surely remember the “if” “then” formula for this?

Where does this come from? Ah…glad you asked! Good ol’ Occam’s Razor. The philosophical argument that states in most, if not all, cases, the simplest and most rational/logical answer is the most accurate and effective. The argument upon which the whole method of science is built upon. The answers that are given are not easy, and some quite difficult, but they are simple, not complex, and generally hold the most weight and efficacy.

Kids these days don’t understand that just because you can question things, doesn’t mean you always have to. Because doing this will only make the problems infinitely worse and more complex…even thought this creates ease and lots of good feels. But a fruitful life is not easy, and it sure as heck is not always pleasant.

So….us adults need to continue to fight with fact, conviction, heart, and truth…all so that the kids can see the light and rise to the challenges.

Stay Blessed you all!

Why Is It So Hard to Just Move On?

Here you go, slap-you-in-da-face fact: someday at some point and somewhere we are ALL going to suffer loss. I know, total epiphany right?!

It’s jut the truth of life, death is inevitable. However, loss doesn’t always have to be synonymous with death, per say. Loss comes in many forms. We could call it a metaphorical death at all points, though. Loss comes through material things, friends due to disagreements, parts of our souls when guilt overwhelms us, and many other ways that I don’t have time to mention.

Regardless of what we lose, we all generally (at some point) desire to “just move on”. That is a heavy goal and a burden. And, in the midst of the loss, one of the WORST things you can say to another. This, I would hope, is common sense. But, there is an issue with this goal. Primarily? It devalues the human experience and makes us worse off.

The mind and brain are fickle things really…full of simultaneous complexity and simplicity. Memory is an essential part of our growth and success as a species and a community. We know that memory and emotions are both tied to and function in the same area of the brain: the limbic system. Hence why the sayings are “emotions are the strongest tie to memory”…along with scent that is.

When we suffer loss of any kind, and it impacts us, the limbic system is firing on all cylinders. There is a flood of emotional neurotransmitters coursing through our cerebellum and our bodies. And, a memory is created. This provides hurdle #1 of “just moving on”.

A memory has just been etched into our limbic system, forever to remain. So, is it inaccessible? Not at all. Psychology will help you understand that there are two ways memory is retrieved:

1. Recall
2. Recognition

Recognition memory is the easiest retrieval method. It is, in layman’s terms, triggered memory. It is the memory used when taking a multiple choice test. The answers listed can be triggered clues to help bring a memory of information from our subconscious to the cognitive front (conscious mind); allowing us to choose the most accurate answer.

Recall memory may or may not have inherent triggers, but ultimately, it takes the effort to actually PULL the memory forward. Within the mind we must instantly and sequentially create our own triggers to recall the memory. This is what is used if someone were to ask you: “Hey, on Halloween of 2008, what were you up to?” Unless you had a significant event happen on that date of that year that created a neurological chain of triggers, you will have to actually make an EFFORT to think back and pull that day up and all the events of said day.

So, what does this have to do with “just moving on”?

Simply put, if you want to even come close to moving on, you have to actively TRY and pull the memory up, and PROCESS through everything it entails with your conscious self. And THEN, you have to manipulate the memory into a new neural pathway apart from the emotions it evokes and assimilate it with something more pleasant and strong; inevitably leaving the memory to wash away and become overpowered by the more pleasant thing. Honestly, with some therapy and help from people like me, it can be done. But this begs a bigger question: Why would we want this for ourselves?

Most will answer along these lines:

“I don’t want to remember.”

“If I don’t ‘get over it’ I will be in pain forever…I don’t want the pain.”

“I want my life to be back to normal.”

Etc.

Etc.

Etc.

I get it, and honestly these are all valid points and completely understandable. But here is the truth…when anything in life happens, change, your life ceases to be “normal”. In fact, normal is nothing more that applied statistical status quos…seriously. With every change, your life becomes a new “normal”. And, I get the pain aspect…loss hurts…it hurts real bad. But, if you are a human being, with a human mind, and any semblance of a human soul, you are devaluing who you are and what you will become if you want to “just move on” and assimilate the loss to something more happy.

If you are these things, then you understand the idea behind “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.” If we begin to boil our lives down to the individual memories and experiences of our past, and attempt to constantly manipulate them for comfort…we completely ignore the strength of our present and the hope of our futures. That is the whole! Our past, present, AND future coming together in a series of moments, in which we are cognizant of and CHOOSE to fight for (and use to our advantage) to advance this great journey known as life!

So, this is what I propose:

No longer try to “just move on”, or “get over it”. Rather, EMBRACE it! Do not ASSIMILATE the loss into another pathway of happiness. ASSOCIATE the loss with something positive within itself. When we lose a loved one, usually this looks like the time we all remember the “happy times” with said person. But take it deeper! Find what ABOUT those happy times existed as manifestations of who that person was. Thus, you create a legacy by which you can stand upon and EMBRACE your present and USE the experience to bring truth to the hope of your future. By doing this, you HONOR the loss and STRENGTHEN your life.

This applies to not just death, but any loss. Seize the positive that lies within!

Just moving on is a cop-out at the joy that lies within the WHOLE human experience. Don’t twist my words…I am not saying continue to be hurt, depressed, confused, etc. But these are just emotions. USE them…let them become processed in your cognitive mind and associate new neural links so that the emotions facilitate the strength that lies in their greater counterparts: healing, joy, understanding, etc.

So, why IS it so hard to just move on?

Simple: because God had bigger plans and value for our experiences, that lie beyond the sum of our parts…and those plans involve the whole “us”….because loss is designed to carry us ONWARD to better futures…but only if we embrace it and nurture it.

Do not move on…transcend.

Do you REALLY want to know? Bring it on…gimme what you got!

Any man who has ever been in a relationship, especially long-term ones, knows that there are just some moments when the hair on your neck stands up and you are, at first, frozen with fear. These moments are usually right after a comment or question that us guys don’t want to answer because honesty will get us killed. Like these for example:

“How does [insert not-so-pleasant article of clothing here] make me look?”

“I’m feeling fat today.”

“I think I should get back in the gym.” (or some variation of that relating to weight)

“That was such a mean thing! Right? I was the victim! Right?”

“Why do I have to keep reminding you of [insert repeated task here]?! Is it that hard to remember?!”

Ladies, these are not fair! They are emotionally charged and you will kill us if we answer with well thought out solutions and/or honesty! Stop it! Please, for the love of God!  🙂

Anyways, my point is, the old clichés are true: don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.

But what happens when there are questions and things that people do want the answers to…no matter how tough they may be to hear? Or, when they see all negativity, but want the positive of something, how do we turn their focus to asking such hard questions?

In Social Work, this is called the Strengths Focused Approach. Simply put, it is finding the strengths that exist within any person or situation, regardless of the circumstances. This approach is essential to helping others begin to understand the importance of asking the tough questions so they can arrive at the answers they seek.

For example, let’s hypothetically take a group meeting in a school about a child who has behavior issues. Attempts to talk to the family about their home life and the environment have been to no avail. The father will not come into meetings, and the mother will not talk about anything at home and only wants the school to do better at their jobs. This actually happens all too much in today’s world. Let’s add to the scenario by saying that the child has hinted at some questionable behavior by his father and older sibling towards he and his mother. The child wants to speak up, but won’t, nor will the mother. The only thing that they are saying is that they are afraid of losing anybody.

Now, most would look at all of the negatives of this situation: potential coercion, alcoholism/abuse/neglect/domestic violence, bad behaviors, silence and secrecy, etc. The urge may be to go into protect mode and “save” the child and family.

But, what if, this is actually what is holding them together? What if all of those negatives are what are providing stability?

The question then does not become: How can we save them?

But rather, it becomes: How can we improve their lives, and home?

How does the question change?

Simple. Taking the strengths based approach allows us to “ride the wave” of dysfunction, ultimately seeing something strong emerge: value of the family unit. This family values staying together so much, that they are willing to just “deal” with their issues and stay silent, all to protect the nucleus that is their home.

This is not comfortable, by any means. To take a negative and turn it into a strength and then use it to facilitate changes takes guts, optimism, hope, and tenacity beyond the “average” human levels. This is why us Social Workers are a breed in and of ourselves.

So what’s the point I am trying to make?

Well, I challenge you to not think about my point, but rather my purpose. There are two:

1. I want all people to understand that there is the proverbial silver lining in any circumstance. One must just dig deep, put on a helmet, and ask the questions they may not want the answers to, or the questions whose answers have eluded them for too long.
2. I call on and challenge YOU…yes, YOU….the ones reading this right now. Bring it on! I want you to comb through your life, your relationships, your beliefs, your politics, your hurts and heartaches, and your own curiosity…and bring me your questions! Bring me your thoughts! I want to create a dialogue to open up our minds and experiences to one another. But we who write and share ideas with the world are a community. And others who read our stuff and follow us are influenced in some way. I want to bring answers and thought to all.

Now, I am not going to sit here on a high horse and state that every question or pondering brought to this blog will get “the answer” or even AN answer. Sure, there will be things that I can answer, with a little digging and thoughtful responding will be ABLE to answer, and also things that we together will have to answer.

Some things we may have to agree to disagree (see my previous chapter on that LOL), but ultimately I am looking to help. I want to expand minds, open hearts, and share perspectives.

Throughout the coming days, I will be taking your questions, your curiosities, your requests for help and understandings and answering/addressing them here…right here…for others to join in and see…bringing camaraderie to us all. I will also be adding my own materials of things that I have questioned or sought and found answers to.

Let’s come together in a community of thought, intellect, and curiosity.

Ask…share…question…don’t be afraid.

What is anxiety and why can’t I shake it? Why do bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people? Is there really a right and a wrong? Is conservative better than liberal, or vice versa? What’s wrong with all individuals being free completely?

These are just the sprinkle on the ice cream when it comes to the depth I am willing to go to discuss things.

So…here is my challenge:

BRING…IT…ON

I will not shy away from any discussion! I don’t have all of the answers, but I have lots of perspective…and SO DO YOU!

Let’s share! Let’s grow our community and our minds…for the betterment of us all as a human race!

Love you all, stay Blessed!!!

How Does That Make You Feel?

I will be the first one to admit that I don’t always, in fact rarely do I, give a straight and simple answer to people. Call it being a blabber-mouth or the curse of being in the helping profession, it doesn’t matter. The point is that people tend to want simplicity, ease. Even when it comes to their questions. Whether those are as simple as, “What time is it?”, or as deep as, “What is the meaning of life?”

I find it increasingly disturbing that society is growing restless with the journey of the human experience and would much rather settle for the human destination. People tend to want an end to things; a way to stop the effort that seems so endless and pointless. But if we would stop, if only for a moment, to appreciate the complexity of life and all within it, we would see so much  more and clarity would truly be ours.

This will come up later in this series as well, but I will hint at it now because it rings true. Philosophy and science alike show us that often times, the simplest and most logical answers are generally the most accurate. This is the premise behind the scientific method’s use and necessity of the null hypothesis…but that’s for another time and context.

What I mean, is that if we stay in the journey and seek depth, often the answer we NEED has been there all along and is much simpler than we make it out to be. It’s almost a paradox:

We ask questions and expect THE answer or a simply SATISFYING one, yet that answer still leaves us with more questions and unsatisfied. Now, I don’t mean questions like “What time is it?”. I mean the personal questions, the nagging ones that won’t let us sleep, or heal, or be at peace. A common example is the question that usually follows tragedy: “Why did this happen?”

Simple enough right? Well, what happens when a “simple” answer is given? If a person asked that to another, and that other were to say, “Because it just did”. Does that bring peace? Of course not! What if the answer was, “Because there are bad things in this world.” Definitely not the answer we NEED. So does it squash the initial asker’s need for an answer? Doubtful. More than likely it leads to confusion, dismay, frustration, and MORE questions. At this point, the person probably doesn’t want to seek the answers to the seemingly endless cycles of questions to arrive at their needed destination…the answer that provides clarity and direction.

I know, it just got real philosophical for a moment. But, it was necessary. Context is everything! And when it comes to helping people and helping them change, we have to know the importance of questions and where we are at as a society…all for the purpose of moving forward and deeper. This is where rubber meets the road. Philosophical concept meets practical applicability.

Social Work really is all about the journey. It leads us professionals through the depths of despair and to the peaks of triumphs, alongside our clients. But it is an arduous, painful, and sometimes confusing journey. The stage of change we focus on in this chapter is the Questioning/Seeking phase. It follows rapport building…and for good reason. Now, rapport is a continuous phase in and of itself, but it is where we always start. Then, we begin to seek and question, with the person targeted for help and change.

On a rare occasion, a client or a community has no idea what the issues are and what needs to change. This makes the process longer, but the steps and concepts are consistent. A lot of the time, the issues are evident and repercussions visible; making the time in the process easier to swallow so to speak. But nonetheless, they are seeking answers.

So why not give the depressed client the true and easy answer to their question of “Why can I not feel happy? Where did this come from?” We could just say, “It’s attributed to a neurochemical imbalance caused by some trigger or trauma that you had no control over happening and it will always be a part of you.” To be honest, that is the simple and truthful answer. But it is not the answer that the person needs and seeks! There are questions within the questions they ask and a social worker’s job is to work within the scope of that person’s life and all its pieces to reach that conclusion they so desperately need. And this applies to all change and help, not just depression.

A social worker is not an answer guru. Sure, we may know the answer after fully analyzing a person and their life aspects. But, it would be a waste of time, and energy to just give the answer. The solution and answer to an issue, or change effort, is always more impactful when it is reached by the person being helped. Hard work always pays off more than laziness…hard truth right there.

The change effort must start with questioning the presenting issues. The social worker guides this journey and helps the helpee (yup, just used that word) find their own needed answers. This doesn’t always and literally mean questioning the person directly. The idea of the questioning phase is to either use explicit questions to gain insight from the person being helped, or to create implicit questions within themselves to sift through.

There are many ways this is done, and many techniques; and yes, one way is the constant asking of “How does that make you feel?” (Thanks Freudian stereotype!) But this is not a chapter on “How to administer the question phase in the change process”. Rather, it is to highlight the importance of it to the social worker’s purpose and change process. But most of all, it is to lay another brick in understanding the building that was the First Social Worker.

Jesus was one of the best at leading changes in people and navigating this phase. To be honest, I would LOVE to highlight every single time Jesus never gave a straight answer and his followers had to think, question, and re-question things within His guidance to arrive at the needed answers; but, I just do not have the time or enough coffee to go through each one of them. So, I will highlight the general methods that are common to Jesus’ work in changing lives; all so the point becomes clear.

The most common, or at least first to come to mind, method of Jesus’ social work was His use of parables. Man! Do some of those confuse the heck out of people! The prodigal son, the sower of seeds, etc., etc. There are a ton of them! But their purpose is what is key. Jesus would take a question, an issue, or a change process that was needed and use stories that had deep meanings beyond the words that were heard. Each parable was directly related to the situation, but never had a flat-out answer. Those who heard them had to sift through the cryptic presentation of these stories and find the pattern within. Once this was achieved, those who heard were beginning to understand…they had found clarity and direction. And, let’s be honest, who doesn’t love story time?!

A second method of Jesus’ WAS his use of questions in response to questions. And I’ll bet there were plenty of pissed off followers. Because, again, be honest, we HATE getting our questions answered with questions! But, Jesus had a purpose. By asking questions in response, he was pushing people’s’ minds into unchartered territory for a given situation…making them begin to seek within their own minds and souls, the push to begin a journey into their own change. He knew that sometimes people asked questions because they just did not want to seek answers, and would rather have the answer and go about their merry way. Jesus knew the value of discovery and the potency that self-arrived answers held within change.

Finally, Jesus’ last common method was what I like to call the “Crap…Got Me There” method. There are many times within Scripture and historical manuscripts that people would ask Jesus questions and they were seeking loopholes, deflections, ways around things…basically looking for answers that would make life easier or help them avoid change. And usually, Jesus would give an answer that completely obliterated what they WANTED as an answer. But, again, it was the NEEDED answer. This generally happened with the loopholes in reference to how to live their lives in accordance with the “laws of the land”. Jesus would instead give it to them straight and tell them what they already knew, but didn’t want to hear. Social Workers do this well when clients are trying to find a way out of change, or when they want to justify their current patterns that led to the issues in the first place.

I’m sure by now that you all are probably glazed eyed at what you just read. In fact, keeping with the theme, you may have more questions than clarity. Good!!! Welcome to the beginning of understanding this phase!

You see, this phase is not as cut and dry as the other phases. There are no “Do and Do Not” lists really. Each situation and issues has its own context and specifics. The purpose is not a step by step guide of how to get a person to question their questions. The purpose is to understand that for the answers needed to change, a journey must be started in which the person being helped seeks their own answers and owns the process.

Why? Because when a person finds the needed answers, they gain clarity and direction. When they reach this point, then the worker pounces…and the person is now ready to be CHALLENGED. And when Jesus challenged, He meant business…for reals, yo!

With that said, please continue to expand your minds and seek within your own hearts and souls. Find your answers. Gain clarity. See your path. And be ready to accept the challenge of change.

Have your helmets ready for next time…the challenges await!

What’s the point of it all?

For those of you who, like me, give people instructions on how to build a clock when they ask you what time it is, you may see more in the title of this post than the verbatim phrase. This is done purposefully, to set up the entire concept behind starting this blog.

I urge you each to harken back to the days of yore…the days of archaic processes…the land of HIGH SCHOOL GEOMETRY. (Insert ominous music here)

At one point or another it was learned in this medieval and twisted course what a “point” was. Generally, a point was known in many contexts, but its core was static. It is known as a fixation, a specific, an ordered set of coordinates, definite, objective, etc. It was designed to be understood as a reference to relate all other things to. Which, by definition and understanding, meant it could not move without jeopardizing all things around it that relied upon its location; the point has to be specific, accurate, precise. This process of relating position and purpose around a singular, finite space/spot has roots in another word that also related to this blog.

In the times prior to firearms and snipers, archers were essential for precise and efficient combat methods. For an archer to be top class and competent, it was known to the common man (and phrased accordingly) that his skills must be honed so that his arrows flew TRUE. He trued his arrows to hit a target, or a specific POINT. Starting to see the links here?

True is the basis for our word TRUTH. You see, truth is not something that was supposed to be subjective, malleable, transformed on whim of anybody. For if the truth was malleable, it means that it has deviated off of its course towards a referenced point, purpose, fixation. Now, I could continue to express the linguistic basics of my expressions and arguments, but that becomes exhaustive. So, I will move on to the greater purpose. You buckled in yet? Just kidding….but seriously…

As I have grown into my career path thus far, working with people on a regular basis, I have noticed some disturbing patterns. But within those complex patterns that I, and a select few in this world, can see and analyze, I see a simplistic correlation. This is actually a wonderful experience in established philosophy and science. Follow with me on an interesting journey!

There is a theory in philosophy called “Occam’s Razor”. Again, without a history lesson (y’all can use Google), this is an applicable theory. Occam’s Razor establishes that, in lay man’s terms, the simplest explanation of an entity (idea, theory, happening, object, etc.) is likely to be correct and preferred. In fact, it was believed that too much abstractions were doing the “proof” injustice and detracting from the evidence actually affirmed. Believe it or not, this was the first step in establishing what we now know as the Scientific Method. The processes of establishing a hypothesis is based on this. Create a serious yet simple question to be examined with all available evidence and draw an accepted and quantitatively acceptable conclusion that a majority of intellectuals and people will understand and accept. This is everything that the world of science and research is based upon! It just took Occam to put a starting name to it; though people like Galileo had been doing this for a while.

Understanding this leads me to the problem that spurred me to create this blog.

My journey as a social worker and student of human behavior and interactions has shown me that one of the biggest detriments to our society (especially our country and civilization) is the lack of this simple philosophy and TRUTH of the world. Too many times in counseling sessions and therapeutic settings, the lack of solutions to address and stop a problem in someone’s life could have been reduced by some critical thinking.

Contrary to what is “taught” to children these days, critical thinking is not politically correct, it is not favoritism, it is not bigoted, it is not meant to hurt or help. It is a process…a necessary process to develop one into someone who truly understands the world around them and uses the information to create effective and beneficial human interactions that propagate the advancement of all. Typically, it is seen that critical thinking is only necessary for those that are “bigots”, “conservative”, “ol’ school”, “narrow-minded”, etc. Now, I’m not getting political here (yet..that’s in future posts), I am just stating the patterns given in current media and social contexts. I urge you all to ask yourself this: What if those people aforementioned are the ones doing the critical thinking? What if they are not “sheeple”? What if they do not take what is said by a person or “expert” as immediate truth? Are they the ones who need education? Or are they the ones who need to educate?

You see, when one looks at TRUTH, one must pursue the Occam’s Razor of it. If not, the point moves and shifts and the truth becomes convoluted and unintelligible. A good truth must apply to all. For if it is not, it becomes POINTLESS. This then leads nobody in a common direction.

Future posts will tackle the “hard-hitting” stuff, yes, guarantee that; but, for now, a simple purpose and mission is being established.

It is a necessity that we all learn to critically think about everything in life and not be cowards who hide behind our feelings and our worries of how other’s might react to our opinions, evidence, perspectives. If we cannot feel safe to express ourselves to another human being, then to what do we owe our safety and security? We must have courageous and truthful conversations. And, newsflash, the truth is going to push buttons, it’s going to hurt feelings, it’s going to be non-conformist, it will be politically incorrect. This is not to be mean, but if people want to truly benefit society, then they need to saddle up, get bold, and speak truth…whatever their version of it is. We need to put all truths to the test, through the method that drives our understanding of the universe. This will elicit the greater truths and allow all of us to finally work towards a common goal and benefit of our race as a whole.

The title of the blog says it all and is based on truth that I have tested. When Christ came to this Earth, he came with love, unconditional. However, this love was true love and was not sunshine and rainbows all the time. Jesus spoke with conviction, boldness, under TRUTH. He cared about everybody and loved them. He loved them enough to tell them the truth even when it hurt their feelings. This was because he KNEW what was best for them and refused to let them hurt worse by continuing in objection to a better life.

This is what I am doing…I am bringing truth because I love you all. I love my brethren of this planet enough to want the best life possible. If I hurt you, I am sorry that you hurt, but not sorry for telling you the truth of a plethora of topics. With that said, I am open to talk! Please! I want to hear you, I want to commune with you! We may disagree about a LOT of things. But if we grow closer as humans and still disagree, then that is success in my eyes. I am sure that Occam’s razor will play out in our lives…our simplest basis of a relationship is love…through that, the complexities and variables can begin to be understood.

Seek first to understand before seeking to be understood…this will be the foundation of our interactions.

“Distinctions drawn by the mind are not necessarily equivalent to distinctions in reality.” ~ Thomas Aquinas

I love you all and God Bless!